Oh what a spectacular day it was for this tired momma… I got to see my biggest little man for the first time in 19 days!!!! I cried & squeezed him & smelled him &cried some more. He’s growing up on me, both in height & maturity. Sigh.
Lochlan had a good morning. He got up & had a ravenous appetite and even stayed sitting on the couch (rather than lying in bed) for a few hours. But then steroids did funny things to him… fear. Today he was so filled with fear. He was happy to be out of the hospital but scared of being in a new strange place (Airbnb). He was scared to not have the nurses there to take care of him. He was scared of the cancer. And he even was scared of Mitch — which I had to explain to Mitch not to take it personally, but that it is in fact the steroids that do it to him.
So after a rocky beginning, the long awaited reunion of my boys was rather mellow, and subdued but as the day wore on they did manage to have just brother time and I think that was so needed.
Mitch helped get Lochlan in the shower for a long overdue cleaning. And that perked up the spirits of my little man, and he ended up having some yummy organic nachos for supper (this pic is of us ordering them through Uber eats) with guy talk with his dad and brother, while I simply stepped back to let them be.
My dad has been such a help. Running to get groceries and ensure Lochlan has everything he needs. And he will be our chauffeur over the next few days as we go for appointments, and Mitch and Luke head back home tomorrow.
For years I’ve been saying I wish life came with a pause button. Or at least a slow mo button so that my boys wouldn’t grow up so fast and I could savour their childhood forever. But for the first time ever I find myself wishing there were a fast forward button, so we could zoom through these next two tumultuous years that lie ahead, and we could skip to life after cancer. A life without so much fear and worry and concern and a million appointments and medicines etc.
I crave a simple life.
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