Hard to believe that there's been a little life growing in me for 35 weeks now. It feels like yesterday that I had those first thoughts of "Hmmm. Something is different with me these days." Yet at the same time it feels like a lifetime since I peed on those sticks and hopefully, prayerfully, waited the agonizingly long 3 minutes to see the faintest lines appear, and the clincher "pregnant" show up on the digital test a week later. So much change and growth has happened since those cold January days.... not only for the baby, but for our whole family.
As I sit here writing (actually thumbing since I only have one hand free and I'm doing a post from my phone), I look down and see my boys... the two most precious gems I've ever been entrusted with. Luke has been struggling with the impending arrival of his little brother. He has been more clingy and needy of me over the past few weeks. There's a part of me that gets frustrated and impatient with his tantrums and the constant touching from him, but thankfully I am able to keep my emotions in check and realize that his feelings and concerns are not only real, but huge and overwhelming for him. It's my job to teach him how to handle these feelings, and how to act when he feels like he's lost/loosing control. It's my job to be his safe-place when his world is in turmoil. So sometimes that means putting the million-and-a-half to-do's aside to be there for my son... my 2.5 year old baby. I realize that the days of being able to cuddle him and hold him through his naps are short lived, so I try my best to cherish the snuggles, the sweaty hair and smell of my sleepy headed, blond-haired, little man.