Day 3 of this battle with Leukaemia…
It was a busy day here. With over 14 visitors (nurses, physiotherapists, oncologists, child life specialists, nurses who coordinate giant him treatment, housekeeping, food drop off) and a quick procedure that ended with lots of tears and screams 😞 (The fear and pain in his little eyes as he looked at me pleading, without any words, for it to stop. 💔)It was A LOT for one little man.
Food continues to be a bone of contention for us here. There is no joy in eating and it’s hard to watch him struggle to find nourishing options— I think I have a plan for this though with a local meal prep service 🙏
Tomorrow he’ll have a new chemo med, so he is on preventative allergy meds. The oncologist came by to ask him about his toe pain. And is going to prescribe him some meds to start taking that pain away. He is on a blanket antibiotic until his fevers stop/go away for a few days. It has been especially hard for me, to go from never giving him any pharmaceutical meds in his life, to watching him receive never ending onslaught of them 😞
Thankfully Lochlan got a break from the barrage of visitors when he took an afternoon nap. I watched him sleep and had a cry, and prayed and prayed for complete healing for my little man.
So it’s been A LOT. I wish I could just do it all… take him home and do the bloodwork, and vitals checks, and physio, and and and all myself. It’s hard to trust others with my baby, and hard for him to trust people that he’s scared of, and who are connected to such a traumatic experience. Everyone is so kind, but they don’t know Lochlan like I do. Trying to walk the line of being polite, but being firm when needed to protect his little spirit is exhausting.
Thankfully Mitch is coming tonight, to be with us for a few days. A little light in the darkness.
We continue to miss Luke more than words can say. But he’s at home with his friends, his uncle and cousin enjoying the things he loves to do most - fencing 🤺. My mom will spend the weekend with him.
So, we move forward. One step at a time —sometimes tiny and sometimes leaps, but always forward until this is all behind us.
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